Can I masturbate while meditating

Sexuality, Meditation, and Enlightenment

Part 1:
Sexuality, Meditation, and Enlightenment

Part 2:
The miracle of abstinence, the path to enlightenment

Part 3:
Report from Eva about her meditation experiences


The following texts come from an unfortunately unknown author and are no longer available on the Internet. I find these texts extremely interesting. Therefore I publish it here again.
They describe the personal experiences of a man who wanted to be celibate, to which he had to stop masturbating so that he would be better spiritually and generally.

I have been involved in meditation for a number of years. My interest in meditation was aroused when I was in a life crisis and was looking for a way to get out of it. I actually managed to change my life in such a way that I felt like I was floating on clouds. A bliss, a deep calm and contentment spread within me, and I experienced what I would describe as my personal "enlightenment". Today I know that it wasn't enlightenment in the real sense, but rather a preliminary stage, but it had changed my life so much that I experienced for the first time what it really means to be happy. For the first time, I felt like I always wanted to be: Confident, completely fearless and infinitely happy. Even though I unfortunately lost this bliss again, meditation and everything related to it had captivated me and played an important role in my life from then on. You can find the report about my change at that time here:

Before I begin my own text, I would like to quote a paragraph from the spiritual autobiography "Game of Consciousness" by Swami Muktananda:

“I had seen the world, people of all kinds and in all walks of life, I had seen everyone from the king to the man on the street and what happened to them in the end. All kinds of people came to my guru in Ganeshpuri because a saint belongs to everyone. There were business people, rich people, great artists, famous movie stars, singers, speakers and high government officials. They all had some problem they wanted to talk about. And no matter what else they had, they all lacked one thing - a healthy body. They said, “I have everything I want, but my heart is not healthy. My sense organs are weak. Doctors don't allow me to travel or eat a full meal. "" My stomach hurts terribly. I've spent thousands of rupees on it in England and America, but the disease is still there. "" I've got everything, but I can't digest anything. I can not sleep. I have already spent two hundred thousand rupees on treatments.

One has a sick ear, the other a sick eye. Each brought grief and suffering to my guru. Everyone brought their worries and needs to him. Everyone was kind of poor, everyone was missing something, and they wept heartbreakingly. One was rich, but his health was poor. Another was healthy, but he had no money. A third was uneducated, poor in knowledge. A fourth was ugly, poor in beauty. One had no husband, the other no wife, and the third had no son. So everyone who came brought their own poverty and talked about their miserable situation. I listened to everything quietly and wondered what I could learn from all of these people and what benefits I could get from them. To tell the truth, my situation was just like hers - poor in self-awareness and realization. I looked closely at them, they were pale, restless, sick, or rich, but not satisfied. They had no strength or energy, just new diseases. I realized that the cause of all this was the waste of sexual fluids, sensuality and, above all, an irregular way of life. "

So much for the extract from Swami Muktananda's book (Swami = monk living celibate). I found the knowledge that Swami Muktananda draws from all the experiences very interesting. But now to my own text.

For several years I have been involved with autogenic training, meditation, yoga, tantra, spiritual growth and the role of sexuality in it. I can look back on my own intensive meditation experiences and the associated personality changes. If you go the way that I describe in my article, you will not only experience a life of happiness and contentment, but also be successful in school, study and work.

You will get to know life in abundance, in abundance, just as you have always wished for. You will experience life as a sensational adventure. You will no longer look up to any stars, but radiate so much charm, charisma and joie de vivre yourself that people will be totally fascinated by you. You have the opportunity to live a life that you never even imagined in your wildest dreams. It's up to you what you do with your life.

Each of us has a life energy that is so gigantic, so powerful that we should actually spend our whole life in total euphoria. We already live in paradise, in heaven, but we don't even realize this because we are wasting our life energy rampantly. The life energy is, among other things, closely linked to the sexual energy. By wasting our sexual energy so wastefully, we also destroy our life energy, our joy of life and thus catapult ourselves out of paradise.

The bad part is that most people don't even realize this. The result is a life of suffering, depression and illness. This is how we create our own hell and complain about our lives. Heaven and Hell do not take place sometime after death, but here and now and everyone has it in their own hands to decide whether their life is heavenly or whether they are in agony. In this context I would like to say that I consider rebirth in the present life to be much more important than thinking about rebirth (reincarnation) after life. By rebirth in the present life I understand the spiritual awakening and the realization of one's true (divine) nature. Ramana Maharshi says: Real rebirth is the death of the ego into absolute consciousness.

Once in my life I was lucky enough to be able to live life in all its intensity. Well, maybe it was just a bit more of the intensity. But what I experienced was so gigantic that I wished I could enjoy every minute of my life so intensely. If you want to experience life as paradise, then you should not waste your sexual energy so senselessly in the future, but try to outgrow it. If you manage to grow beyond it, to get rid of it, then you completely lose interest in sexuality and things start to grow in you, all of which are much more beautiful than any sexuality.

These things are a heavenly inner calm, a deep peace, an ecstatic euphoria that spread within you and the like. You develop in all directions and find out who you really are. Not only does it feel fantastic, it applies to all of us. Anyone who thinks that sexuality is THE thing at all is only testifying that you have no real knowledge of spiritual growth and how much you are caught up in your sensual passions.

If you have wasted your sexual energy more or less without thinking twice on short-term sensual pleasures in your previous life, then it is not easy to change your habits. Sex is the fake snake that tries to sneak into your life, that makes you a slave to your senses, that makes you addicted to this short-term sexual ecstasy, the kick after orgasm. In reality, for this brief moment, it robs you of sensual pleasure, sexual euphoria, your joie de vivre and your vital energy. This text is intended to help you think about it a little.

In this context I would like to remind you of Mahatma Gandhi, who with his wife Kasturbai decided to live in chastity after the birth of their fourth son. Paramahansa Yogananda's parents, who lived a very spiritual life according to the principles of their Jesus-like guru Lahiri Mahasayas, only had sex once a year for the sole reason of fathering children. Do you really think they missed sex? I think they had transformed him a long time ago. All yogis who attain higher spiritual states are of course also celibate.

Transform your sexual energy, transform it into spiritual energy, and you will live a divine life. You will experience what it means to be a Jesus, a Buddha, a spiritual master, an enlightened one. Even if you do not manage to climb the top step of this ladder, i.e. the seventh chakra, the crown chakra, which symbolizes the connection with the divine, reaching the sixth chakra already means a life of bliss. With patience, discipline, yoga, meditation or autogenic training, a healthy, moral and ethical way of life and abstinence, this goal is achievable for everyone.

Many, however, not only limit brahmacharya (celibacy) to sexual celibacy, but see it as control over all the senses.

So says z. B. Mahatma Gandhi:

“In popular usage, Brahmacharya has taken on the meaning of mere mastery of the sexual organ. Brahmacharya has falsified this narrow definition and made it impossible to practice it. Mastery of the sexual organ is impossible without careful control of all the senses. They are all related to one another. Lower volition is sensual. Without mastery over will, mere physical abstinence, even if it can be attained for some time, is of little value.

Mastery of the palate is very closely related to the observation of brahmacharya. I have found through experience that sexual abstinence is relatively easy when one gains control over the palate. "

And Swami Krishnananda says:

“Many yoga students believe that brahmacharya means celibacy. While this can be considered one of the definitions, it doesn't mean much, for yoga in its purest form has a deeper meaning. Yoga looks at Brahmacharya from all angles. It demands a purification of all senses. Excessive sleeping and overeating are offenses in brahmacharya. Brahmacharya is broken not only through married life, but through an excess (luxury) in all things - even with unmarried people who are voracious, sleep excessively, talk too much and, above all, brood over sensory objects.

While energies are conserved on the one hand, they can flow away uncontrollably on the other. Brahmacharya means to conserve the powers for meditation and for higher purposes. In seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and touching, we should only concern ourselves with pure things. "

Nature has given us sexuality to create new life. But since we have moved so far away from our own nature, from our inner self, there is no longer any ecstasy in our life. We are now looking for this ecstasy in sexuality. We actually find them there, even if only for brief moments. At the same time, however, we lose the sexual energy that could give us lasting bliss through the awakening and ascending of Kundalini. Ramana Maharshi expressed these relationships as follows: We have forgotten the self (God) in us and take body and mind for the self. This misidentification creates suffering.

It should be remembered that an enlightened person experiences the bliss that we find in orgasm for a few seconds in every second of his life. The meaning of our life should therefore not be to run after these few seconds of sexual pleasure over and over again, but to realize ourselves so that we can enjoy life to the same extent as the wise, saints and enlightened ones.

There are ways to reintegrate this ecstasy into our lives. The energy to kindle this ecstasy rests in the base chakra, which is physically located in the dam behind the genital organs. Here the divine energy, also called Kundalini, rests, which is just waiting to be awakened by spiritual techniques so that it can rise to the crown chakra, which is physically located on the top of the skull. If this Kundalini succeeds in causing it to rise, it can put us in a permanent ecstatic state of happiness that is a thousand times more beautiful than any sexuality, yes, it can even lead us to enlightenment. But we are looking for short-term sexual pleasure and thereby distance ourselves more and more from our true divine nature.

I started studying about 20 years ago. I failed the first semester and had to repeat it. This prompted me to wonder why I have had so many problems with me in my life so far. I realized that I had failed because I lacked intelligence, but because my mental health problems, which I had been carrying around with me since childhood and which I could never cope with, prevented me from being who I always be wanted: self-confident, fearless, intelligent, popular with everyone ...

In terms of nature, however, I was a very fearful person, I only approached people very carefully or withdrew from them. Up until then I had probably not got to know people as particularly lovable creatures with whom I could find recognition, love and security, but rather felt them to be a threat that I preferred to evade. As a child, I did not grow up with my parents, but spent my childhood in various children's homes. In my childhood there was always a deep longing for love and security, but nowhere was it satisfied. A children's home is simply the wrong place to find this security. That is why a deep sadness has settled in my soul that has accompanied me throughout my life. On the other hand, deep down inside I have always rebelled against this lovelessness. The result was that I was, and probably was, a severely disturbed child, and because no one could handle me, I was sent from one children's home to the next. In the first seven years of life there may have been about eight children's homes.

When I was 10 years old, I lived in a children's home run by nuns. During this time I got to know masturbation. Since then I have masturbated quite a lot, yes, the masturbation developed into an addiction. Since then, sexuality has held me captive. It gave me at least a brief moment of satisfaction, relaxation and a certain thrill. However, this was always associated with a guilty conscience. And I think that guilty conscience sank deep into my subconscious. As a result, I could never really enjoy sexuality.

As an adult, I was a pretty neurotic person. I was extremely nervous, anxious, vulnerable, my breathing was superficial, I had constant stomach aches, headaches, flatulence, loose stools, I couldn't concentrate for long in class during my studies, and every day I soon came to a point where complete exhaustion set in. Then I was usually done into the evening hours and only recovered in my sleep. Outwardly, I couldn't see these difficulties. There were of course times when I felt better, but overall it was quite a disaster.

Whenever I wanted to tackle something, my fear and stomach pains always showed me my limits, my radius of action within which I could move. In a way, they said to me, hold on, stop, this way and no further, or fear, nervousness and stomach pain spoke up. So there was z. B. the question again and again, what do you have to be afraid of now? Of course, after thinking for a moment, I always thought of something and then the fear set in.

I was very shy around women. At that time, however, I was already married and the father of two sons. I was very fond of my wife, tried to be a good father to my children and gave them a lot of time. I had normal sexual contacts with my wife. Nevertheless, sexual fantasies determined my everyday life. I would have loved to have seen so much more, but I was too shy to get to know other women. So I continued to masturbate. Outwardly, I always tried to hide my uncertainty and fears. So at that time I was a person with pronounced neurotic behavior and psychosomatic complaints.

How should I get out of this whole dilemma? I had started my studies and wanted to finish it off successfully, and I wanted, damn it, to be a happy, contented, fear-free person, someone who enjoyed life to the fullest. I knew, of course, that my problems had something to do with my sexuality. From then on I decided to live completely celibate. This was probably a reaction to my excessive interest in sex and excessive masturbation. In the beginning it was not so easy to fight off the constant desire. There were always days when a real storm raged inside me and it was not always easy to stand firm. But I really wanted to get out of the misery I was in, and since I now felt that this was the right way, I stayed true to my attitude. I would much rather have lived out my sexual desires and fantasies with one woman or, if you like, with several beautiful, loving women. Unfortunately, I wasn't that lucky.

In the months that followed, however, I managed to cope better and better with abstinence. I had also heard strange things about meditation and looked for literature about it in public libraries. Unfortunately I couldn't find a book on meditation there, but I did find a book on "Autogenic Training". I read the book and tried out the exercises myself. Since the book on autogenic training also recommended doing the exercises while lying down, I have made this my own. Since the lotus position is not particularly comfortable for me, that suited me very well.

But my changes in daily life went beyond that. Since I had always drunk too much coffee, I drastically reduced my consumption and only drank a cup of coffee in the morning. Otherwise I preferred to drink milk or rose hip tea. Every morning I ate cereal, and from now on exercise was part of my life. Every evening I walked around the block and put in a sprint every now and then. I also did pushups every day. I practiced autogenic training in the morning after getting up, at noon when I came home after graduation, and in the evening after going to bed. I also learned yoga exercises, which I also did daily. At this point I would like to draw your attention to Sivananda's yoga exercise plan.

I continued to take cold showers every morning in summer. This cost me to overcome every morning. However, after the initial fear was overcome, showering was quite pleasant. I also feel pleasantly refreshed and a little proud that I had the courage to take a cold shower. So a lot had changed in my life, but the hoped-for effect was still a long time coming. Until then, I had no experience of any kind of relaxation exercise and I didn't know if anything was really going to change. The effects of autogenic training were described in the book, but so far I had only a vague hope, the outcome was uncertain.

If a man is celibate, he is actually not really celibate. This is what nature intended. The man's body continues to produce sperm cells, and from time to time the semen is excreted through a nocturnal orgasm. This process is called pollution. The pollutions take place at more or less regular intervals of a few days or weeks without the intervention of the man. The frequency of pollution depends on the man's way of life. The pollutions take place in sleep or half sleep. Since it usually takes place at a greater interval in the case of longer abstinence (10 to 30 days), they are extremely intense and pleasurable, especially since they are often accompanied by erotic dreams. Sometimes, however, they also take place in deep sleep. Then the man may not even notice it at first, but may not notice it until the next morning or in the following days due to the troubled emotions (nervousness, aggression) or the stronger heartbeat (rather uncomfortable). From a sexual point of view, the pollutions are usually associated with great sexual satisfaction.

However, there are also said to be celibate yogis who have no pollutions, but who convert the seed directly into spiritual energy (ojas). However, since I do not yet understand exactly how the physiological processes take place in this type of conversion (sublimation) of sexual energy into spiritual energy, I do not want to go into further detail.

After being celibate for a few months, the pollutions were more beautiful than anything I'd experienced sexually before. I also felt it more in the stomach area (navel center) than in the genital area. In a sense, I had left my sexuality to nature, and nature had chosen the best of all solutions for me. In the days after the pollution, everything went haywire for me. Euphoria and depression took turns. In the depressive phases I was often very irritable and aggressive. In the days that followed, sexuality spoke up particularly strongly, but I did not give in to this desire. After two or three days this feeling subsided, then normality returned. At the same time, I noticed that part of my fear and stomach ache, which I had suffered from constantly until then, had disappeared. To a certain extent, my well-being leveled off at a slightly higher level.

At that time, however, I was still fixated on sexuality and, if it took some patience, I was longing for the next orgasm. In the months that followed, the interest in sexuality continued to decline due to the extremely beautiful orgasms I experienced during the pollution, until one day the interest in sexuality completely disappeared. In a sense, I had lived out all of my sexual desire and it lost its meaning to me. I think you can guess how nice the nocturnal orgasms were for me. The orgasms then also had a different meaning for me. For one thing, I was no longer fixated on sex, orgasms just happened from time to time and were more like a prayer. It was more of a give than a take. Only those who have experienced this can understand it correctly. So when I was still fixated on sex, I was loved in my most beautiful dream by the prettiest women and experienced it completely free of fear, just as I would have liked to experience it in reality. The orgasms that I then experienced were beautiful. I would like to live in a society in which such erotic experiences are normal for everyone. Then the subject of sexuality would soon no longer play a major role.

I would like to try again to express these processes in other words. Usually the man is fixated on orgasm. He longs for a nice orgasm. As soon as he has experienced it, he soon thinks of the next one who should be just as beautiful, or maybe even more beautiful. If one is celibate, this attitude is just as present at the beginning. After a while, however, this will change. The extremely pleasurable, nocturnal orgasms (pollutions) give you the opportunity to live out your entire sexuality. So in the dream the prettiest women are there for you to pamper you as beautifully as possible and to fulfill all your wishes. The imagination knows no limits.

Where in reality are such experiences possible? There may be individual men and women who are so lucky. But I believe that the vast majority of men and women have all kinds of erotic dreams that they can never really live out.

With the living out of sexuality, a heavenly calm, a wonderful peace, a deep contentment, an enormous self-confidence and other beautiful things set in over time, all of which are much more beautiful than any sexuality that can be experienced. I soon felt that these are the very things that count in life, and not the sex and all the other things that you chase after your whole life, as these things alone bring real happiness and contentment. I believe that you can only experience these things when you have really lived out your sexuality, be it in a dream or in real life.

Then came the day after I had another wonderful nightly orgasm when I felt all of my fears and stomach pains dissipate. I, who, as far as I could remember, had fear as my constant companion at my side all my life, which did not leave me for a minute, and thus made my life quite a torture, was suddenly completely free of fear . This, of course, has been a HUGE release for me. For the first time in my life, I was able to move completely freely. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, that scared me. Of course, this development did not come overnight, but dragged on over a period of around nine months. These changes were not only caused by the extremely pleasurable, nocturnal orgasms, but at the same time I had learned to put myself in a deep meditative state. At the beginning I only experienced this ecstatic meditative state during meditation, after a few months this ecstasy was permanently present day and night. Let us now speak of that.

Before that, however, a little detour to Kundalini energy:

Kundalini is a cosmic force, a life force, a life energy, which is also known as prana. This life energy is stored in the root chakra, also called the base chakra, the lowest chakra of the seven-level chakra model, which can be found physically in the perineum behind the sexual organs (coccyx). It can be awakened through yoga, pranayama (yoga breathing), meditation (autogenic training or other meditative techniques) and sexual abstinence and guided into the upper chakras. If the Kundalini is awakened, it rises from chakra to chakra in order to finally unite with the “divine” in the seventh chakra, the crown chakra, the connection to the divine energy, which can be found in the crown of the head.

According to Swami Sivananda, Kundalini can reach the Sahasrara (crown chakra) in four ways:

"1. The longest path is from the Muladhara (base chakra) to the Sahasrara along the back. The yogi who guides Kundalini along this path is very strong. That is the hardest way.

2. The shortest way is from the Ajna Chakra (frontal chakra) to the Sahasrara. When the yogi focuses on the Ajna Chakra (Third Eye Chakra), the lower chakras automatically open and are overcome.

3. The third path leads from the Anahata Chackra (heart chakra) to the Sahasrara.

4. The fourth goes from the Muladhara in front to the Sahasrara.

Kundalini does not stay long in the Sahasrara. The length of stay depends on the purity, the degree of sadhana (spiritual practice) and the inner spiritual strength of the yoga practitioner.

But remember that even after reaching the Sahasrasa, she can fall back into Muladhara at any moment! Only when one is firmly rooted in Samadhi, when one has attained Kaivalya (oneness with God), Kundalini can and will no longer fall. "

If the Kundalini rises from the root chakra to the second chakra, the sexual chakra, then all sexual desire disappears. Sleep disorders, intestinal disorders, abdominal disorders, fear of death, kidney failure, bladder problems and hysteria also disappear. In their place, love, fertility, productivity, spontaneity, creativity, enjoyment, pleasure, general well-being, openness and joy in life develop.

If it rises further to the third chakra, the solar plexus (solar plexus) in the umbilical region, all fears and stomach problems, liver damage, stomach cramps, stomach ulcers, kidney problems, feelings of inferiority, pride, depression, lack of self-confidence, greed, abuse of power, hypersensitivity and Balance, joy, strength, warmth, assertiveness and personality replaced. An intense flow of energy may form in the stomach area, which gives you vitality, joy and energy.

If the Kundalini rises to the fourth chakra, the heart chakra, all heart problems, lung diseases and shoulder joint pain disappear. They are replaced by social awareness, warmth, generosity, selfless love, solidarity.

As soon as the Kundalini rises to the fifth chakra, the larynx chakra, thyroid diseases, stuttering and hoarseness disappear, linguistic skills develop and the voice gets a very pleasant, expressive and melodious sound. Mental clarity, mental order, communication skills, discernment and humor develop further.

As soon as the Kundalini reaches the sixth chakra, the frontal chakra, visual and hearing disturbances, intellectual arrogance and high blood pressure disappear. Instead, a holistic cognition develops, one understands better how to understand connections, supernatural abilities develop and you may feel a very lovely, intense and very pleasant flow of energy in the forehead area.

You can assign a gland to each chakra:

7. Crown chakra - pineal gland
6. Third eye chakra - pituitary gland
5. Larynx chakra - thyroid gland
4. Heart chakra - thymus gland
3. Solar plexus - pancreas
2. Sex chakra - gonads
1. Base chakra - adrenal gland

Many people believe that they can get rid of psychological distress by confiding in a therapist. You have to be aware that a therapist is only able to solve your psychological problems to a limited extent. Most therapists understand nothing about real health, about health in the sense that the chakras are healthy. Most therapists do not have this health themselves. So if you think a therapist could do this job, all you are doing is shirking the responsibility and handing it over to the therapist. But no healing process can take place like this. All a therapist can do is create awareness among people who have previously lived unconsciously and superficially during the day. He can accompany you a bit on your way, support you and give you courage. But only you can heal yourself. Start today, not tomorrow.

I mean, the best way to achieve perfect mental health is through meditation. Through meditation, all mental disorders gradually disappear on their own, without the meditator having to take special care of them. Meditation is a cleansing process that affects the psyche and the body. It gradually eliminates hatred, all aggression and all mental illnesses. It should also be said, however, that this path is not easy. You have to open up, you have to let in all the emotions that you have swallowed all your life. And that is associated with a lot of suffering, pain, grief and anger. Only those who have the courage to face this process will be ready to tread this path. The other alternative is to suffer for a lifetime.

All emotional injuries that we have experienced in the course of our lives are stored in our body and make themselves felt in some form. Depending on the disposition, everyone has their own clinical picture. In one of them they manifest as muscle tension, in the other the organs are affected, the third suffers from migraines etc. etc. There are thousands of different diseases, but almost all of them can be cured by meditation. By meditation, I don't mean superficial relaxation, but the ability to really put yourself into a deep state of meditation, which you naturally have to learn.

So now continue with meditation and autogenic training.


The autogenic training is divided into the following stages:

0. Formula of rest
Setting the rest
Muscle relaxation
"I am completely calm and serene"
1. Difficult exercise
Vascular relaxation
6x "Arms and legs are heavy" or "Heavy"
2. Heat exercise
6x "Arms and legs are warm" or "Warmth"
3. Heart regulation
Calms the heartbeat
6x "The heart beats calmly"
4. Breath adjustment
deep and relaxed breathing
6x "The breathing is very calm (it breathes me)"
5. solar plexus
Nerve nodes in the abdomen
6x "The solar plexus is pouring warm"
6. Head area
Cold forehead
6x "The forehead is pleasantly cool"
7. Withdraw
Stretching, stretching, yawning
6x stretching, stretching, yawning after practicing
In between, always use the rest formula. Practice each area for about 1 week. If possible, always practice at the same time at the beginning. The formulas can also be imagined as pictures or neon letters etc.

If you have developed a certain routine, then it is enough:

"All limbs are heavy and warm"
"Heart and breathing are calm"
"Body warm, forehead cool".

You can find good meditation instructions here.

When practicing autogenic training, some people may experience difficulties. It is therefore recommended that the first exercises in autogenic training be accompanied by a medically experienced teacher.Nevertheless, I learned it self-taught.

When practicing autogenic training, after a while, tingling appeared in the whole body. The tingling was accompanied by a pleasant "multidimensional rotation". It felt like there were many small point-like rotation elements all over the body, rotating in all possible directions, almost as if there was a rotation in a different direction around every cell in the body. The body also felt like a large, inflated balloon and seemed heavy as a stone. It was very pleasant to feel this.

The heart regulation happened to me all by itself without my special practice. If you were, like me, in all the years before, an extremely anxious and nervous person who was very familiar with the palpitations, then you find the calm with which the heart beats as sensational. Even in situations where it would otherwise have rolled over in anger or fear, it remained perfectly calm. This calm does not only come about in the heart region, but it was carried over to my whole being.

I found it just as sensational when the effects of the solar plexus (navel center) were revealed. The stomach pains that had plagued me for years completely disappeared. Instead, there was a rather intense, pleasant flow of energy that gave me a lot of strength and energy. The adjustment of the heart regulation and the solar plexus went hand in hand with the exceedingly beautiful orgasms, which I already described above.

In the course of time there were other changes in me. The greed for sexuality initially subsided and completely disappeared over the course of the months. I found this very pleasant. From then on I saw women primarily as people and no longer as sexual objects. A heavenly calm set in, and absolutely nothing could shake me. In a sense, I floated above the clouds without any trace of arrogance and looked down pityingly at all the poor creatures who tormented their way through life down there. Life was like intoxication, like a drug. It is quite possible that the body's own drugs, such as endorphins, caused this feeling.

From then on I was the best in my studies, wrote the best exams, was praised in front of the whole class because I had once again found a particularly elegant solution and didn't even have to do anything. It just fell naturally into my lap. I read z. B. the assignment sheet for the exam, so I knew the solution almost at the same time. It is said again and again that humans only use their intelligence to a small extent. At that point I was probably able to use my intelligence much more than in previous years. I would even like to make the claim that at that time I would have been able to cope with completely different demands and with such a desire and enthusiasm that it would certainly have amazed the people who knew me. All doors were just open to me.

The body felt loose and relaxed, there was a pleasant lightness, and since all tensions were gone from my body, even my gait changed. My voice went very deep. In a way, it was my calling card and it was really impressive, hard to beat in terms of purity, beauty, power and depth. It's absolutely awesome to have such a voice. The drummer Phil Ruud from AC / DC, a bundle of power and energy, also has such a great voice. You can see it in the video "Let there be rock".

The way I wrote also changed. Since then it has been clear to me that graphology, i.e. the analysis of writing, can say a lot about the writer. During the class, I often had to copy the text from the blackboard. Originally this was laborious and exhausting, later it was really fun and easy, almost playful.

Even my sleeping habits changed. I used to have trouble sleeping, woke up in the middle of the night, and often had trouble getting back to sleep. In the mornings, I felt accordingly not well rested. Now, on the other hand, I slept soundly, didn't wake up at night, and when I woke up I felt fresh and lively.

In the house where we lived there were neighbors who kept slamming the doors loudly without taking any notice. In the past, this was a huge burden for me. Anger, aggression, palpitations and nervousness set in. Later then the slamming of the door didn't bother me at all. There was just such a calm, contentment, equilibrium and joie de vivre in me that nothing could shake. In the third eye, too, that is the point between the eyebrows where the married Indian women draw a red point on themselves, I felt a pleasantly tingling flow of energy. This point is also known as the Third Eye or Christ Point.

I should also not fail to mention that a deep gratitude spread within me, which was also expressed religiously. I had a Catholic upbringing, lived in a Catholic children's home during my childhood, which was run by nuns, later lived in a Catholic men's home (Kolping House), attended a Catholic school and was a member of the Catholic scouts, who are always in the rooms of the Church met and was an altar boy in the church in my youth. So I had "enjoyed" a strong religious upbringing. This tended to lead to my dislike of the church, just as I had a deep dislike of school. However, after experiencing this wonderful change, I felt a deep religious bond and had someone to whom I could express my gratitude.

In the months when these changes occurred, however, there were also nights when I was plagued by insomnia. Sometimes I had severe headaches in the days after an ejaculation at night, accompanied by nausea and vomiting. After a day, however, the headache was over. There were also occasional pulsating muscle twitches. I cannot say whether this was caused by the nerves or the muscles. I suspect that blocked nerve tracts or chronically tense muscles were loosening.

I had seen a wonderful change in those months. I was floating on clouds, feeling like I was in seventh heaven. There was no longer any fear, it was just alien to me. Resting in a deep, inner peace, I enjoyed life to the full. Nothing needed to be said, the language of happiness is silence. I remember one time Osho was silent for 42 months. I read from another yogi that he was silent for 30 years. What happy people!

All attempts to show others what a great guy I was were superfluous. It wasn't always easy either. Sometimes I was so cocky that it almost gave rise to megalomania. I just floated so above the clouds that I believed I could turn the whole world off its hinges, nothing and nobody could harm me, and I was the greatest of all. In doing so, I overlooked the fact that it is better to stay nice on the carpet. It would have been good at the time if I had thought about what hell I had escaped and what I could lose again through my carelessness. It is said that pride comes before the fall. And that's how it happened.

The state of bliss lasted for about 18 months, and disappeared the moment I re-engaged in sexuality. It ended up again in the same excess that was my own before. Like a junkie, I just couldn't get enough. Then the ease with which I had lived and enjoyed life in the previous months was gone, and I was the old bundle of nerves again. Life was arduous again, struggle, and sexuality had me fully under control again.

One more word about Osho. Osho was the first to rediscover what I was experiencing at the time. Osho is really a brilliant speaker. You only read through your meditation texts once. I love his imaginative, creative, rebellious and humorous speeches. He knew very well how to arouse interest in spiritual subjects in the western world. It was probably especially his great attitude towards sexuality that attracted the masses. However, he kept silent about the fact that only one in 1 million who walk the tantric path will also achieve enlightenment in this way. This is very clear in Swami Chidananda's text on abstinence.

Osho said, “When you've really experienced the inner light, sex will go away. Yes there will be love in you, but sex will go away, sexuality will go away. In their place there will be love - a very loving being. There will be no more desire for sex. If the desire for sex persists, you have not experienced the inner light. Then the inner light was just a projection of the mind. ”But he said it so softly that many did not hear it. Maybe that was his intention too.

With this I would like to say that the tantric path theoretically leads to the goal, to enlightenment, but that most people who follow a tantric path lose themselves in their sexuality. Because in the classical sense in tantra there is sexual union in order to move the Kundalini to ascend by means of tantric techniques, but no orgasm takes place. But Osho pretended that the tantric path was almost child's play that anyone could easily walk. Wasn't Osho really luring with sexual freedom to satisfy his personal vanity?

If you also read through Osho's contribution about his enlightenment, you can see that Osho himself followed a yogic rather than a tantric path. Osho was celibate. Although he doesn't mention it in his article, I'll just take it. He lived as an ascetic as far as food and possessions were concerned. Except for a piece of cloth that he wore during the day and used as a blanket at night and a bamboo mat that he slept on at night, he had nothing.

He meditated for hours, ran five to eight miles twice a day, and certainly read a lot in religious books. If you look at yoga in terms of physical fitness, then you could also look at running in the broadest sense as a yoga exercise. And even if Osho stopped all these efforts a week before his enlightenment, I am pretty sure that he would not have found enlightenment without this more yogic path. However, when Osho claims in the article that people like Jesus, Mohammed and Krishna have no idea about enlightenment, I am speechless.

Since I've been more intensely involved in yoga, I have found Osho to be more superficial. Osho's words are sweet as honey and stick to them, but sometimes they lack depth. But despite these differences of opinion, I still have great sympathy for Osho.

I believe that the yogic path, the path of celibacy, is much easier to tread than the tantric path. In a consistently abstinent lifestyle, it may take 9 to 12 months for the Kundalini to rise to the sixth chakra. It all depends on how consistently you can resist sexual desire. In order to achieve something similar in the tantric way, one probably needs years, if it succeeds at all.

Tantra is primarily about letting the Kundalini rise from the root chakra to the crown chakra and not about orgasm. It should be avoided to a large extent in tantra, as it greatly hinders the ascent of Kundalini. But because most of those who claim to be practicing Tantra do not have the discipline to abstain, the Kundalini cannot ascend either.

The danger of tantra is that one plunges headlong into sexuality over and over again, exposing oneself to it over and over again, and in doing so can easily lose sight of one's spiritual development. Then there is only the short-term gain in sexual pleasure.

How much energy is lost in a male orgasm is shown in an article by Mantak Chia: “Every time the man ejaculates (has an ejaculation), the body assumes that it is supposed to produce a new life. According to the Tao, all organs and glands sacrifice their best energy for this. The average ejaculate contains between 50 and 250 million sperm. According to Taoist teaching, if the body does not have to constantly replenish this sperm store, it can use the saved energies to strengthen body and mind in order to promote health, creativity and spiritual growth. "

What many men may not know either: The five to ten ejaculation contractions of the prostate (the male counterpart to the female clitoris) are certainly a pleasure - otherwise most men would not see them as the goal of their desire. The semen that is produced in the testicle is then stored in the epididymis to mature there. The maturation period takes about 3 months. During ejaculation, the semen is transported by contraction of the spermatic duct from the testes to the prostate, where it is mixed with the prostate fluid (a milky-clear secretion that ensures the mobility of the semen) and excreted as ejaculate through the urethra.

In the tantric act of love, orgasm (ejaculation) is not generally excluded, but it should be avoided as far as possible. Taoists have established some guidelines on how often a man can ejaculate without losing his zest for life, vitality, etc. You can read it here.

A man in his twenties can ejaculate once every 4 days.
A 30-year-old man can ejaculate once every 8 days.
A 40-year-old man can ejaculate once every 10 days.
A man in his 50s can ejaculate once every 20 days.
A 60 year old man should stop ejaculating.

These values ​​are taken from Mantak Chia's book: more often, longer, better. Sex tips for every man.

The path I have described and followed is based on the yoga philosophy. Thousands of yogis have already walked this path and achieved enlightenment. In judging this, one should have at least a basic knowledge of yoga philosophy. That is why I recommend you to read the Raja Yoga Sutras by Patanjali, the basis of all yoga philosophies.

Addendum: January 24th, 2004 - Something wonderful is slowly beginning to develop in me, even though I am not celibate at the moment. What bothers me a little, however, is that the urge of sexuality is still relatively strong. I have

today no longer the attitude of absolutely having to live celibacy. Maybe one day this attitude will change. But right now I want to enjoy my sexuality. I feel very drawn to Tantra and like to let the sexual energy circulate in my body. I would rather enjoy this with a tender, young woman.

Recently I have been studying Yogananda and Kriyananda, a disciple of Yogananda, quite a bit. Your loving, religious texts brought religion very close to me. Although I was never irreligious, I saw myself more as an antichrist because, for example, I was B. could not do much with Jesus and Christianity. Through the texts of Yogananda and Kriyananda I understood Jesus and Christianity correctly for the first time and today I have great respect for the ideas behind them. (Yogananda: "Devotion is the greatest purifier")

Saturday March 13th, 2004: I soon realized that I should be celibate. The literature of Yogananda in particular has strengthened me in this regard. But my desire for sexuality was so strong that I could not bring myself to live completely celibate. So I played a little with my sexuality, but avoided orgasm.

Furthermore, the literature of Yogananda had made it clear to me how important the daily yoga exercises are. So I increased the number of my daily yoga exercises. While I've usually been doing yoga once before bed recently, I now do yoga twice a day.

After the yoga exercises, I meditate for about 20 minutes each time. I also like to listen to soft music, e.g. B. Beethoven's 6th Symphony, the Pastorale, where I can best meditate on the quiet movements. I also enjoy listening to the meditation music of the Japanese musician Kitaro. The best CD I have from Kitaro and which I can recommend to everyone is unfortunately a Japanese one and it is labeled in Japanese. It is from Canyon Records and has the number P-3000 V3.500 (I don't know if that will help. You can give it a try.) Of course, it is also very nice to meditate in complete peace.

Nice music and a pleasant atmosphere activate the right hemisphere, so that both hemispheres work synchronously. The left half of the brain works logically, rationally, while the right half of the brain works intuitively, creatively and musically. If both halves of the brain are equally activated, the true capacity of our mind can only develop.The most modern scientific studies of brain research have confirmed this.

What I find extremely pleasant in the last few days is the fact that sexuality leaves me completely alone. In any case, there is currently no desire for sexual contact. As long as sexuality is raging in you and you have no way to live it out with relish, you are under a lot of pressure. However, if you have the opportunity to live out your sexuality, you keep the wheel of sexuality running and you simply cannot get out of this cycle. You remain a slave to your senses. In contrast to my previous experiences, this time the pollutions are mostly not associated with erotic dreams. I don't see it as a loss because I have become more or less indifferent to sexuality.

That's why the current development is very pleasant for me. I hope that I can finally leave sexuality completely behind me and that I still have the strength to withstand it if it does come back. I'm slowly getting back into meditation a little deeper. Should the meditation deepen even further, it would help me a lot on my further path.

March 28, 2004: My life has changed a lot. For decades I couldn't think of anything better than sleeping with a woman. That was the purpose of my life, around which everything revolved. Now I'm not interested in sex at all. Instead of sleeping with a woman, I prefer to meditate, read yoga or religious books. It would be nice to meet someone who is truly wise, enlightened, and saint. I would like to meditate with him, pray with him, learn from him, get his blessings.

Thursday April 29, 2004: In the last few months I had become very friends with the religion. It was above all the loving texts of Yogananda and Kriyananda that brought about this change. I must confess that I was not uncomfortable with the idea of ​​a kind, wise, and loving God. But now the question arises to me, how justified the assumption of a god is at all. Basically, nobody knows who or what God is. Isn't what we consider God to be an arbitrary determination of man?

Tuesday, May 11th, 2004: By studying pranayama (yoga breathing) (I asked myself how yogis actually manage to survive without breathing. Here is the solution) I came across rapid breathing (Kapalabhati). After trying it, I noticed the great healing potential of this breathing exercise. I would like to advise you to try it out yourself. I would like to point out to all those interested in yoga that, according to Swami Krishnananda, the hatha yoga pradipika, the most important description of hatha yoga, places more emphasis on pranayama (yoga breathing) than on asana practice (yoga exercises)!

You can find more breathing exercises on the pranayama page. And here is a note on pranic healing

Friday October 5th, 2004: This wonderful peace is slowly returning to me and my fear continues to decrease. Every time after a nightly pollution my condition improves. It's not quite there yet, but it's getting better and better. It will probably only be a matter of a few months before I regain my old happiness.

Friday, November 19, 2004: In the last three days and occasionally at night I had multiple intense twitches in my right thigh. My right half of my body has been tense for many years, from my thigh to my back to my shoulder, including my right arm. Now these tensions seem to be gradually releasing, although there are still large tensions. I feel these tensions particularly in the right epigastric region in the hip area.

In meditation, I focus on the forehead area. The meditation deepens very gradually. My meditation is currently as follows: 1. I am very heavy. 2. I am completely calm and relaxed. 3. I breathe very deeply. I suggest the respective exercise about 7 times and then go to the next one. After the third exercise, I'll start over. In total, I meditate for 15 to 20 minutes 2 or 3 times a day. When I meditate in bed, I always lie on my side after meditation and breathe in and out with concentration a few times.

If I occasionally succeed in meditating more deeply, then my concentration rests in the third eye (forehead area). This meditation is associated with a deep peace. Then the 3 suggestions are also omitted (1. I am very difficult ...). Actually, the suggestions only serve to deepen the meditation until the whole concentration rests in the third eye.

Osho: How can you tell if you are living properly?

Bliss is the only criterion for life. If your life is not blessed, know that you are on the wrong track. Suffering is the criterion for living wrongly and bliss is the criterion for living rightly, there are no other criteria. You don't need to read scriptures or ask a guru. You only need to check whether you are becoming more and more blessed, whether your bliss is constantly getting deeper and deeper. If so, then you are on the right track. And if the suffering, the agony, the pain keep getting worse, then you are on the wrong track. It doesn't matter to believe anyone; it is important to examine your own life every day and see whether you are actually getting sadder and happier.

Here is an email that someone wrote to me in July 2004:

Dear Gerrit.

It has been a long time since I came across your homepage. When I recently wanted to read your page again, I noticed that it is currently not available, but then I googled an esoteric forum in which you were attacked for your views on abstinence. Apparently from people who really have no idea. So I decided to write to you by e-mail and just say thank you. For what? I think that a few years ago I had a very similar experience to the one you describe on your website.

Starting with stomach pains and psychosomatic complaints, the constant fixation on sexuality up to the first meditation experiences, which did not fail to have an effect. I read your pages and at first I thought that the same thing happened to me back then. At that time I was unable to communicate with any other person because I always had the impression that they would not understand what I was talking about. And suddenly my life story was almost in front of me on the screen. I was very happy that I wasn't and am not alone with this experience.

I got the impression that you are very experienced in a spiritual way, not only that you have read a lot in books, but also that you have gone the way yourself, that you have had experiences that cannot be read . I would like to ask you for an assessment of what you think of what I have experienced.

In my childhood I was a very scared and shy boy, school was easy for me, but since the time I first fell in love during puberty, I was havoc. While I was still a self-confident class representative in the first four grades in elementary school, with puberty and the discovery of sexuality, uncertainty and psychosomatic complaints came along. I was a rather unstable, vulnerable boy, constantly fixated on sexuality and hoping that I would find satisfaction there. At that time I was not aware that this was only of a short-term nature and does not give lasting peace, because I also did not yet know what a really deep peace is.

An English book by the Dalai Lama (The Art of Happiness) then completely changed my life. I began to meditate, also on the way, on the train, on the bus I repeated a single thought and already at the beginning I had an inkling of the power behind a single thought. The mind of the Dalai Lama brought me into contact with views on the suffering of the world, with views on happiness that completely changed my life. My mantra, which I kept repeating, was called “compassion”. I got so madly into that thought that I was that thought. As soon as I saw a person, I tried to take their suffering on myself and give them all my positive strength by only having this thought. My mind stayed calm even with the most depressing news, because the whole world is suffering from the beginning. These simple insights moved me at the time and a process took place that, in retrospect, I would describe as unbelievable.

At that time, sexuality no longer played a role in my life. If I used to masturbate all the time, then I was no longer interested in it. Slowly I noticed how the blocked chakras opened. I felt it particularly intensely when the throat chakra opened, accompanied by meditation and throat pain. I felt such a strong connection with everyone that I wanted to jump in the air with happiness. The inner peace that I achieved at that time was the most beautiful, the most beautiful thing I had ever dared to achieve. Sometimes there were moments when I thought I was going to burst with happiness, the serenity that came was floating. And when I opened my eyes, then everything was one, everything was clear, somehow I understood.

Looking at these events from today's perspective, I so much wish to get there again. The end of this state of happiness came just like you did (if I remember correctly). One day I masturbated again and the most beautiful state was blown away. It was really very quick. It was like turning on the reverse thrust on a flying airplane in the air. I fell into a hole that really couldn't have been any deeper. It was the most severe depression. I was barely able to communicate, psychosomatic complaints wore me out, it was as if the energy wheels in my body had turned. Sex had caught me again, the animal level dominated me again, it was hell.

During this time I started my studies, the first two semesters were only there for me to recover from this shock. It was only the depth that I experienced that made me realize what heights I had reached back then. After a year I changed the course and the place of study and now everything has settled back to a fairly normal level. I've had a girlfriend for half a year, but when we sleep together, I try to hold back my semen. I would love to start meditating again, but I'm afraid that something so incredible can happen again. The relaxation that meditation gave me back then cannot be achieved in any other way, but without guidance, someone to guide me, I would probably not be on my way again.

But I know there is a very big secret in it. As soon as my eyes were closed for the first time, the first time I repeated the word, I knew that this was what people were looking for, that only meditation can bring peace. You have also experienced it, this fine consciousness, where no animal instinct thinks about sex all the time, but intuition grasps everything at a glance, this wonderful clarity and delicacy of perception. I would be interested in what you think about these experiences and where you are at the moment. I thought to myself, if anyone understands me, it will be you, the author of the pages I was reading at the time. Maybe I've written a little too much, but somehow I get the impression that you understand well what I'm talking about.


At this point I would like to insert a text that Svarupa wrote in my guest book:

Dear Gerrit

What you can find on the net if you are looking for enlightenment! I am a woman, but why do men always think that only they have a strong sex drive that keeps them captive. Since my puperty I have been looking for the right partner, whom I already had at times in my life, but most of the time I was alone and full of longing. I am also osho-sannyasin and constantly on the way to realizing my true being. i also had a time in my life when i was free - and it passed again: i had dealt intensively with the advaita teaching and, thanks to a casual job, had a lot of time for myself. i went to satsangs (meeting wise men, enlightened masters, etc.) and did self-experience. During a very normal lunch break at my home, I woke up and saw the world as it really is: all in all at the same time, eternal and closer than near - simply immediately - in the middle of everything. yes, you can't describe it so well with the words of the mind. this highest state passed and i went back to work, but many such fine states happened in the next few days. after that i was just always happy for about half a year. the search for a suitable partner and sex was simply no longer available. I woke up in the morning full of gratitude and happy about this life and everything in it. although i had a lot of difficulties in my professional environment, and therefore sometimes difficult emotions, behind confusion and frustration, behind all the struggle, there was always this bliss - it was just there - nothing to shake. I wasn’t missing anything, really. i was happy - and when someone is happy, it attracts people. so do men. after half a year i got involved in an affair with a man again. AND THE WHOLE MISSING WAS BACK AGAIN. the longing that cannot be fulfilled. the eternal search for fulfillment. my brief experience of awakening is now 2 years ago and although I now fully understand all the texts by osho and others about enlightenment, I am fully caught up in my ego structures and my needs again.

Don't know - maybe it was a good idea to just write it down and send it out. to everyone who feels the same way. Svarupa

Because I liked the meditation method of Paramahansa Yogananda so much, I would like to point out at this point: The Hong-So meditation technique Also read the texts of Yogananda. You will be delighted. Through the texts of Yogananda I have z. B. understood Jesus for the first time. Before that, I was more of an anti-Christian. Yogananda is someone who has tried to create a synthesis between Buddhism / Hinduism and Christianity. What I like most about Yogananda is the very positive interpretation of what Jesus said.

Continue here:

Part 2: the miracle of celibacy, the path to enlightenment.

Related topics:

Pornography and Religion: Sin, Temptation, and Addiction

Natural nudity and sexuality

Sex and Ego: Desireless Sex and the Sacred Relationship

Tantra masturbation

Ejaculation control and the multiple orgasm


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