Did you make a colleague cry?
Crying at work: is that even possible?
Nobody likes to do it and nobody does it on purpose, but in some situations the tears just can't be suppressed. In order not to be seen by all colleagues, most of them try to withdraw to a quiet place where they can be alone. But is that even necessary? After all, being employed regularly authenticity required. Of course, this also includes your own emotions. Actually. Because that Crying at work is still considered taboo in many areas and can - especially for men - even negative impacts to have a further career ...
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Crying is a sign of weakness
A tirade from the boss, a dissatisfied customer or a colleague whose stupid sayings are much more hurtful than they might expect: it can many causes why employees cry at work, but unfortunately they all have one thing in common: They are called Signs of weakness interpreted.
An exception to this are private strokes of fatesuch as the death of a relative or the separation from a long-term partner. But if there is no such reason, the tears in the office are usually equated with a lack of professionalism. In the eyes of many shows sobbing in the office ...
- ... low resilience. Tears in the office are often a sign of being overwhelmed. When the daily pressure becomes too great and the stress can no longer be brought under control, crying is the last resort to vent the pent-up emotions.
- ... lack of stability. Those who do not have their emotions under control create the impression that they do not have the necessary stability and stamina in other situations either.
How often do men and women cry?
Even if many men would like to sweep it under the table: Yes, men cry too and even regularly. But the stronger sex does not have to worry about its reputation, because women cry much more often than men.
- According to surveys, men cry over a period of two months between 1 and 3 times.
- In women, tears flow at the same time four times as often.
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Women and men cry for different reasons
Not only do women cry more often than men, the reasons for the tears also differ. For both sexes, however, the following applies: The reasons change with increasing age. While tears in childhood are mostly triggered by fear or pain, the trigger is more likely in adults compassion. But how could it be otherwise - of course there are still differences between men and women.
- Men cry out of compassion, but also because of it difficult personal situations, for example in the event of a breakup.
- With women, tears come when they feel like one Not being able to cope with the situation or in the event of a conflict.
What to do when a colleague cries
They can't be prevented anyway and when the tears come, even the best advice won't help. Anyone who is overwhelmed by sadness or anger - this also applies to women in this case - need one thing above all: Support. There are enough colleagues in such a situation who look at the floor in embarrassment and prefer to stay at a distance, embarrassed. Do not join this crowd, but rather make your co-worker feel better. This is how it works:
Stand by the crying man.
Crying in the office is an uncomfortable situation. It gets even worse for the person concerned if the feeling arises that the whole office is watching while you are sitting alone as if on a presentation plate. You can prevent this by standing protectively by your colleague and thus signaling that he is not alone.
Find some comforting words.
In most cases, the tears prevent a conversation from taking place, but this is often not necessary at all. A few comforting words that give courage and restore self-confidence are enough. A bit more personal than one Everything will be fine It can be, however.
Stand up for your colleague.
Crying is a clear signal that your colleague needs support right now. See what the trigger behind the tears is and think about how you can help your colleague. If, for example, there is trouble with a customer, you can offer to help with the upcoming tasks or to take over some of the tasks in order to provide relief.
The right reaction when you cry
Of course, you are embarrassed at first when you can no longer hold back your tears in the office. But as long as tearing outbursts are not part of your daily routine at work, you don't need to be ashamed of them. These tips can help you respond correctly:
- For now, withdraw. While you don't have to be embarrassed about your tears, you will likely feel better if you have some alone time first. Use this time to collect yourself and calm your nerves a little.
- Accept help. Those who cry at work often feel hurt in their pride. This quickly results in the desire to absolutely want to prove it to everyone else. This can provide a boost in motivation, but still accept the comforting words and the help offered by your colleagues.
- Clarify the situation. Since you have likely been crying for a reason, it is imperative that you try to resolve the situation. For example, ask the colleague who has upset you so much for an interview and describe your point of view.
Nils Warkentin studied business administration at the Justus Liebig University in Giessen. On the career bible, he is devoted to topics related to studies, career entry and everyday office life.
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