How can I stop being antisocial?
No more comparing - learn to appreciate your own uniqueness!
Comparing yourself to other people is the surest way to put you in a bad mood. Extensive research on social media, such as Facebook, is particularly suitable for this. Better stop comparing yourself and learn to appreciate your uniqueness!
Compare presentation and reality
The problem with comparing is, on the one hand, that you usually only look at the Watching presentations from others. These show happy days on the beach, successful parties - simple successful and beautiful momentsthat are advantageously recorded and displayed. Nobody posts a photo on the Internet that shows him or her in the early morning with puffy eyes, during an argument with the children or with the newly bloomed sun allergy on their last vacation. Even evenings spent unhappily in front of the television are not shown, only the nice moments with friends. But now you see and know yourself with all the unpleasant moments - you can only do poorly in comparison. You are comparing the “best of” moments of the others with your everyday life.
Focus on the negative
Another problem with comparing is that Focus on the negative with yourself. As a rule, you probably even compare the “best of” moments of the others with your own “worst case” moments. You are currently lying unfavorably on the sofa and you feel unattractive, unloved or unsuccessful and then you look at the successes of the others. This is a real one unfair comparison, which only serves to make you feel worse about yourself. You know it too: You get a lot of positive feedback and praise for something, for example a presentation. Only one person expresses himself critically or negatively - and that one comment outweighs all the positive feedback. We are often used to focusing on the negative.
Unfavorable selection in comparison
When comparing with others, however, one often picks each other out their positive elements and ignores the rest of the person. The colleague who has once again completed a project very successfully is envied for it. The fact that his marriage broke up because of his professional ambitions and that he does not care about his children at all is not mentioned in the comparisons. If, in contrast to you, he is also completely unsportsmanlike and unsocial or can neither sing nor dance, you ignore this too and only make yourself feel bad because of the lack of professional ambition. That is real Self-sabotage.
So what can you do about unhealthy and unpleasant comparisons?
Stop measuring yourself against norms and ideals
All people are unique and perfect just as they are. Everyone is perfect and completely different. For example, there is not one foot in this world that is exactly the same as another foot. The idea of inventing norms - i.e. what is supposedly normal and what is not - is totally absurd against this background. Why should feet with shoe size 37-39 be just right for a woman and everyone else too big or too small? How should something be "normal" when everything is unique and different? We are all measured by standards and want to meet standards. Boys should be sporty and quick-witted, slim, tall and muscular. Girls should be pretty and nice, slim and not too tall. Anyone who does not do this somehow does not do that well. These norms and comparisons run through life. Depending on age and phase, new and changing ideals are brought to us again and again. We are so used to being measured by the fact that we also measure ourselves and others by it. always if we fail to meet another unrealistic ideal, we feel bad.
Learn to appreciate your uniqueness
We're all just right for who we are. It is now the case to learn to appreciate one's uniqueness. All people have different talents Strengths and weaknesses. Usually the strengths and weaknesses are even two sides of the same coin. Get to know yourself and appreciate your strengths and weaknesses. Emphasize the first and stand by the second. Find out your talents and what you enjoy and give these things space in your life. Be patient and understanding with yourself and welcome compliments and successes. If you are satisfied with yourself and your life, the Facebook profile of the top of the class at the time or the successful colleague can no longer unsettle you!
Photo credit: (c) iStock.com/AntonioGuillem
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