How do I get along with bullies

Types of bullies and 21 tips for bullying in the workplace

21 basic tips for bullying



1. Defend the beginnings


Take the bull by the horns, because teasing is not the order of the day, it is unprofessional. React immediately to small insolences and clarify any misunderstandings that have led to them.

Don't let yourself be cornered. It is of no use to ignore allusions, to overlook hostility, to hide away. Confront attackers face to face. For example, if someone spread a rumor, name it and ask about the intent. With an offensive approach, you show that you are not an easy victim, see through games behind your back and know how to defend yourself. The sooner you fight back and show that you cannot allow yourself everything, the greater the chance of nipping the conflict in the bud.




2. Don't be silent


Many victims remain silent out of shame and are increasingly attacked for doing nothing. Instead of just reacting, they can take the initiative. Make sure it doesn't happen in secret. Create public.




3. Be true to yourself


Keep your cool. Don't let others impose the rules of the game on you. Just because someone is bullying you and behaving badly doesn't mean you have to. Don't bully back! Don't let yourself be dragged down to the lowest level. After all, you still want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror, don't you? In addition, the increase in trench warfare does not solve the conflict, but makes conflict management more difficult.




4. Document


Take notes as a reminder. Record all incidents, if necessary with a picture, date, time, location, witnesses and those present. Write down what exactly happened in one column and how you interpreted it in the next. Such documentation can be very useful later. It is also a good basis for talking about your experiences, whether with a lawyer, in private, with a coach or therapist.




5. Strive for debate


Find the pronunciation, clear up any misunderstandings. Do not attack the other person personally, but think about the basics of constructive conversations.

If the conversation does not help, then you should turn to a higher authority.




6. Be forgiving


Stress increases through the feeling of being at the mercy of a situation. Use your creative leeway. Apply internally and externally. Develop plans for self-employment. Do this with caution; Escape is the last choice. From bad to worse: Many have regretted the step into self-employment.

Nobody wins in a blood feud: Put the attacker in his place and let it be good. Then treat him as you would any other colleague. Your forgiveness tends to deprive his aggression of the nourishment, while your hostile behavior incites new attacks.




7. Complain


Your solution approaches have not borne fruit so far? If the bully does not stop, report it to the manager. If this is the bully, contact the employer or works council directly. Witnesses and records will help you here. Emphasize the impact on work and on the company.




8. Allies


Don't let yourself be turned into an outsider. If you find colleagues to stand by you, the bully will quickly realize that you are not alone. Do you have colleagues whom you trust? Be careful not to slide into self-pity, but rather formulate specific requests for support.




9. Good conversations


A good conversation is good for you. Talk to people you know about your situation. This can be friends, acquaintances or even more helpful a professional conversation partner like a coach.




10. Professional help


Google helps: Today there are many contact points that specialize in bullying. You can find help and support in the relevant forums and exchange ideas with other people affected.

Depending on the goal, other experts are helpful; Prepare for discussions, make decisions, clear your mind ... You can also call on a lawyer. Especially if you have legal protection insurance and if you don't give up and want to enforce your rights.




11. Pay attention to balance


When the conflict in the workplace becomes more widespread, you need to find a balance. Recharge your batteries in your free time. Enjoy social contacts with like-minded people. Make time for your hobbies. Sport helps you to reduce stress and to defend your physical and emotional balance.




12. Changing jobs as a way out


Look around in good time for opportunities to change jobs. It takes a lot of strength and energy to fight bullying. Sometimes the way out is to change jobs. Then the bully has achieved his goal, but it's about your health, your quality of life.




13. Professional repartee


Practice quick wit. This gives you additional security; You know you could if you wanted to. But use it cautiously and purposefully. After all, you don't have to prove anything. Professional quick-wittedness is shown above all in opening doors instead of slamming them. And the fact that it is rarely used because you are not offering yourself as a worthwhile sacrifice.




14. Body language and charisma


It shouldn't be an excuse for bullies, but villains feel invited by people with certain behavior and the resulting charisma. A victim who signals that he has little resistance attracts attackers. The price to be paid seems to be low, the low risk entices. Body language is particularly important here. A confident posture signals something else, it won't be so easy here! That alone keeps many attackers away.

You can find numerous articles on this topic here on this homepage.




15. Emotional blackmail


A common form of manipulation is emotional blackmail. Even if it is within the legal framework, it is very stressful. You can find some suggestions in article 12 Tips for Dealing with Emotional Blackmail.




16. Self-analysis


Take a closer look at the situation:

  • What are the causes and connections?
  • What are the motives of the bullies?
  • Is it really about you?
  • What part do you have in it?





17. Leave the church in the village


Not all cheek is the same as bullying. Anyone who rushes to talk about bullying becomes implausible when it actually happens. Those who accuse others of bullying without being able to prove it can also put themselves and others in unfavorable situations.




18. Company interests


Make the business downside clear. This motivates superiors to act quickly.




19. Support colleagues


Show moral courage and protect colleagues who are at risk of being bullied. This is how to raise the bar for bullies. In this way, you show early on that you will not allow yourself to be done to this.




20. Burnout


Those affected often react by overachieving tasks. This sometimes leads to burnout and the bullies have won.




21. Physical reactions


Take physical reactions seriously. Persistent bullying can make you physically and mentally ill. Contact a medical professional you trust. When you show up for work sick, you will make more mistakes and perform less well. Bullies will use this against you.